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No Photos Please

No Photos Pre-Party Interview Series
What: No Photos Interactive Art Party and Exhibition
When: Friday, June 11th.
Where: Roxy Roots
Notorious party photographer Steven Vigar (http://www.stevenvigar.com) is moving from Tainan to Taipei so that he can blind partygoers with his flash and post embarrassing pictures of them on his website on weekdays, in addition to weekends.
In celebration of all the money he will save on High Speed Rail tickets, Vigar is holding the No Photos interactive art exhibition, which will include music by a bunch of bands, lots of artists (and drunk English teachers) drawing stuff, and an ultra-secret art exhibition by Steven Vigar that is—are you ready for this?—not photography. Also, no cameras will be allowed at the party.
In preparation for this monumental event, I have interviewed several people close to ‘the Vigar’ to find out what they think about the move, the secret exhibition, and the Vigar’s missing tooth.
This installment of the interview series includes interviews with drummer Greggo, and Edmontonian, Clint Cole.
The first interview is with Greggo. Greggo is a longtime Vigar supporter, drummer for High Tide and Looking Glass, and the only person in the world that I would describe as swell. Super swell, in fact.
Who is Steven Vigar?
Mr and Mrs Vigar's son.
How long have you known the Vigar?
4 or 5 years.
Who cares if he’s moving to Taipei?
Well..I do.
What do you think of the Vigar’s ‘photography’?
Dirty yet visually satisfying.
What is your role in the No Photos interactive art party?
Planner/promoter & participant (The Looking Glass)
What’s going to be the best part of the party?
My skin pounding.
What do you think will make this party different from, say, getting hammered at a nightclub and watching overweight foreign guys try to pick up uber-skinny Taiwanese girls?
The fact that we have combined fashion designers with photographers as well as some interesting bands backed up by Sir Marcus doing what he does best.
What do you think the Vigar’s ‘big surprise’ art exhibit is going to be?
Alot more men than he wanted.
Do you think it will be better than the final episode of Lost?
Never watched it.
By the way, what did you think of the final episode of Lost? Kind of a cop out ending, eh?
Yeah
Do you think that the Vigar should get that damned missing tooth fixed?
I think he should fill it in with chocolate.
Who’s more hip, the Vigar or Ron Jeremy?
Ron Vigar
Who would win in a fight between the Vigar and Leonardo DiCaprio?
Leo
Really? Even the What’s Eating Gilbert Grape DiCaprio?
Yep.
If the Vigar were an animal, what would he be?
Aardvark
How does the Vigar get all of those girls to kiss each other and squeeze their arms together to make their boobs pop out of their dresses like that?
Pay them.
Do you think I could get that kind of attention if I took my camera to the bar?
Of course. I do.
Where is a good bar to look for large breasted camera happy girls?
The Vigar Bar
What kind of camera is good for exciting girls?
One with Vigar's hands on it.
Give me Steven Vigar in one word.
Horny
The second interview is with Clint Cole. He’s an old friend of the Vigar. He’s from Edmonton. That means that he’s impervious to cold and chews tobacco wrapped in raw bacon. Mmmm, bacon.
Matt Gibson: Who is Steven Vigar?
Clint Cole: Steven Vigar is a figment of my imagination. He lives in a magical world where no-one ever grows old. His lips can for some reason transform into a suction-cup, and that is his only super-power.
MG: How long have you known the Vigar?
CC: Since before there was Viagara… So Steven came first, but he doesn’t cum first ladies if you know what I mean.
MG: Who cares if he’s moving to Taipei?
CC: All those sexy ladies who aren’t in Taipei.
MG: What do you think of the Vigar’s ‘photography’?
CC: 3 words “Mother Lovin’ Nuclear” That’s what.
MG: What is your role in the No Photos interactive art party?
CC: Taking all the photos naturally.
MG: What’s going to be the best part of the party?
CC: Answering this question with this answer will be the peak, so get ready people… It’s going downhill from here!
MG: What do you think will make this party different from, say, getting hammered at a nightclub and watching overweight foreign guys try to pick up uber-skinny Taiwanese girls?
CC: Well… If there really are no pictures, that means no substantiating proof, so you might see a few overweight guys getting hammered at a nightclub and trying to pick up just plain skinny Taiwanese boyz!
MG: What do you think the Vigar’s ‘big surprise’ art exhibit is going to be?
CC: Well if I know Steve… I have no idea what it’s going to be.
MG: Do you think it will be better than the final episode of Lost?
CC: “It” was a terrible movie, so I think whatever you lost probably was better than “It”, unless of course you lost “It”.
MG: By the way, what did you think of the final episode of Lost? Kind of a cop out ending, eh?
CC: Really I never saw it. Don’t own a TV.
MG: Do you think that the Vigar should get that damned missing tooth fixed?
CC: Oh. Is that what you lost. How can he get something fixed that isn’t there?
MG: Who’s more hip, the Vigar or Ron Jeremy?
CC: I think Ron Jeremy is shorter, but has more hip.
MG: Who would win in a fight between the Vigar and Leonardo DiCaprio?
CC: Jeez! That’s like watching Super Mario and Wario duke it out. Isn’t Steve Leonardo’s doppelganger?
MG: Really? Even the What’s Eating Gilbert Grape DiCaprio?
CC: Alright I’ll go DiCaprio.
MG: If the Vigar were an animal, what would he be?
CC: Human
MG: How does the Vigar get all of those girls to kiss each other and squeeze their arms together to make their boobs pop out of their dresses like that?
CC: Rufees. Really. Rufees. I heard you can get them almost anywhere these days.
MG: Do you think I could get that kind of attention if I took my camera to the bar?
CC: Is your camera throwing out rufees and cash?
MG: Where is a good bar to look for large breasted camera happy girls?
CC: Atlanta.
MG: What kind of camera is good for exciting girls?
CC: The kind with a huge dong attached to it my wife says.
MG: Give me Steven Vigar in one word.
CC: Stevenvigar.
If you liked this interview, more can be found at http://www.waakao.com, http://www.therealtaiwan.com, and http://www.stevenvigar.com
Matt Gibson is a writer and photographer living in Tainan. His work can be viewed at http://www.matt-gibson.org.

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